Author Archives: matt

Break me.

The sun is setting. That dark blue hue to the sky, the omnipresence of street lights stains the road with an alternate shade of world. A disconnect between time and place. A rupture disorients and multiplies, I am cast adrift. … Continue reading

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I

Given whatever turmoil has afflicted me these past few weeks, I have found myself compelled to explore the past. Occasionally, looking back I’ll discover something I can’t grasp, something I can’t remember writing. These are my words, no doubt. These … Continue reading

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The trigger

“What do you think triggered it?” I am asked, repeatedly. “What do you think was the cause?” I’ve spent years asking myself the same question. Years in therapy, examining the routes and structures of my psyche, fruitlessly digging for some … Continue reading

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Repetition.

Who even am I anymore? I try, I’ve tried, to distance myself, to walk away from this, but once again, I find myself back here, occupying this persona, this voice I have created. It provides a way out, one of … Continue reading

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Premature

It’s too soon. Too soon to express, to spill my contents. We’re not there yet. Wounds still open, I have no perspective, no real sense of what this has cost. I can only theorise, make some wild guess at what … Continue reading

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Another dream.

In my dreams I am wild. Lost. Stumbling through the city at night, unhinged, unattached. There is something missing I cannot find. Torn between base desires and the knowledge that for whatever wrongs I have endured, I am still this … Continue reading

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A couple argues.

I wander the town, terrified to eat, confused, lost, unhappy. Wouldn’t it be nice to be someone else? Isn’t this the reason we welcome others into our lives? So that, for a time, in their presence we might be someone … Continue reading

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Exit.

I am little but eye here –¬†¬†watching the human being before me.

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A harbour at sunset.

I long for repetition. Let me retrace my steps. The past is corrupted. I must start again.

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Isn’t it always the case that the best of my writing occurs in some strange place between layers of reality, a nowhere hidden beneath the various lives I feign. Analysis and description of phrases uttered, words written and thoughts lost. … Continue reading

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