Remember me? Let’s break down barriers, forget ourselves, slip into a non-specific emptiness of ego-less aught. What is left? What trace, what stain remains upon the ground we have traversed?
“Remember me?” asks WordPress as I sign in again. Remember me, for I have entered my password, remember me, owner and proprietor of this site, this space, this digital repository for my digital effluent. Here, where I import, perhaps the only place I mean a thing. But meaning is fluid… and any number of clichés I’ve previously spouted about transience and entropy.
Whatever the case, here and now, we exist. Me, as I write this garbage. You, as you lazily devour it, the two of us, separated by time, by space, never quite in alignment, always left out of sync – impossibly, we strive for some connection – yet somehow: communication occurs.
Together, we connect, no matter the distance, trapped as we are within these ever weakening, slowly degrading flesh and bone. Two separate consciousnesses leaking from their confines, desperate and alone- yearning for engagement, for touch.
Who knows? Perhaps we’ll never have that. Perhaps, we can never be understood. We only ever seem to understand one another by proxy, we make ourselves the intermediary in this awful and necessary exchange of ideas, wearing each other’s shoes, though the fit is awkward and the wear alien to us. There is a fatality to it, this impossibility of communication, but still, we try.
This understanding has shaped my thought, this knowledge, that whatever essence, unique to me, that makes me who I am is incommunicable. Is that vanity? We might never know the totality of another, never know there inner being – this is beyond us. Humanity is a social animal, we are less ourselves and more what others bring to us. We are the negative space that we fill.
Remember me. Remember my absence.
For that is all I ever was.